Speed Dial
by Feyren
Summary: Akaya gets a new cell phone, and decides on the appropriate speed dials for each regular. Well, not exactly appropriate.


I totally have a good reason for writing this silly little drabble and not updating _To Try_ or _School Days_ or _The Tennislutionary War_.

Well no, I don't. Somehow, I managed to find the time to write this and as of now I'm officially being tortured by a heat wave and am basically just looking for an excuse to be near the window, which happens to be near the computer, and am I making any sense right now?

* * *

"Ah, okay," Akaya said into his newly purchased cell phone. "Bye, Mom." He snapped the phone shut and proudly walked onto the RikkaiDai courts, flaunting his newest accessory like a true metrosexual. "I got a cell phone, everybody! And I just made my very first call!"

"To your mom, no doubt," Niou snickered.

Akaya blushed slightly and decided not to answer that question.

"Niou-kun," Yagyuu scolded. "Don't say that." To Akaya, he adjusted his glasses and said, "I see you bought the new Wakashi Blue model. My cousin has the same one."

"Is he a cool cousin?" Akaya asked eagerly.

The doubles player coughed politely and looked away, though it was impossible to tell with those glasses he was wearing. "No, my cousin is a _she._"

Akaya huffed and Niou laughed while the rest of the tennis team stared.

"You know," Marui said thoughtfully, "your model has speed dial options, I think. Like, multiple numbers. It goes as far as three digits."

"Yeah." Akaya nodded. "I know, but I haven't decided on everybody's specific numbers yet. Well, some, but not all."

The regulars crowded around their resident brat to peek at his phone, and Akaya grinned. "Maybe I should program them now."

"Yeah, sure." Jackal shrugged. "Sanada is off yelling at some of the first years, so he'll be distracted for at least another fifteen minutes. We've got enough time."

"Seventeen minutes, fourteen seconds. Ten seconds, maybe, depending on his mood when he returns. But most likely fourteen seconds," Renji muttered to himself, decidedly not offended by the looks he was getting from the rest of the team. "What?"

"Never mind." Marui shook his head. "Yo, start with me. What number do I get?"

Akaya pulled out his cell phone again and punched in a number.

Marui frowned. "Only one digit?"

"I gave you an eight."

"_Eight? _Why?"

"Because," Akaya trilled, "eight is the fattest number in the number world. It basically has fatty thingies bulging out on both sides, which is what you're going to look like in ten years. Plus it's like, one of the biggest clothing sizes for fat people."

"Excuse me! I'm not fat! And _fatty thingies? _Are you serious?"

The regulars ignored his ranting and moved on. "What about me?" Niou demanded.

"You get a sixty-nine for obvious reasons, senpai."

The regulars were again silent, less shocked by the fact that Niou was given such an X-rated number and more shocked by the fact that Akaya actually knew what the number sixty-nine represented. Niou seemed satisfied and grinned a toothy grin that nobody really wanted to look at for fear of being permanently scarred.

"Ahem, moving on. What about me?" Jackal stared intently.

"You get a two, because it's the number that nobody really pays any attention to but is there anyway."

"I am offended," Jackal decided.

"Let's see, Yagyuu-senpai gets a ten, because he's pretty much the most perfect person on the team, aside from me and Mura-buchou and fukubuchou. And Yanagi-senpai gets an eleven, because that's what his eyes look like, except, you know, the numbers have to be horizontal instead of vertical."

Renji's not-there eyes practically popped out of their not-there sockets, and he sputtered something incoherent. Yagyuu, however, seemed rather pleased with his number and did not speak.

"Fukubuchou gets a seven, because 'Tarundoru' begins with a 'T' and those look kind of like sevens. And Mura-buchou's number is one, because he's number one. Except for me. I'm number one. He's number one point one, which would technically be eleven, but Yanagi-senpai already took that slot, and I don't need a speed dial for myself." He checked his cell phone. "I have a missed call from Fuji-san! I think he's upset because I tie-dyed his team's uniforms. I should probably call him back." He punched three numbers in and waited for Seigaku's genius to pick up.

"Did anyone see what numbers they were?" Niou whispered.

Marui merely stared at the younger boy in a mix of amazement and amusement. "I think it was six-six-six."

"Isn't that the devil's birthday?"

"Mmhmm."

"So Akaya's speed dial short-cut for Fuji is the devil's birthday, and the representative of all evil."

"Pretty much."

All eyes fell on the dark haired, green eyed boy, who was chattering energetically into his cell phone and blissfully ignoring the Seigaku regulars' enraged cries on the other end of the line.

Finally, Niou piped up, "That's pretty cool."

* * *

Yeah, the ending made, like, no sense. And I promise I'll update _To Try _and my other stories! I don't just ditch stories. If I were going to ditch it, I would have deleted it a long time ago, so no worries. But the update will take a while because I've been procrastinating and I need to read a three hundred-fifty page book as quickly as possible, then write a report about it for high school, which I'm starting in September. Oh, the pain.


End file.
